Are you
choosing to hang on to your old habits, or are you going to use January 1st
to start some new ones? Are you going to
stop smoking? Lose weight? Save or make money? If you are, you’re not alone. When I was looking at my Twitter, I noticed
the trending hashtags - #loseweight, #stopsmoking, #NewYearsResolutions,
#Resolutions, #Goals, and the list goes on and on. It seems to be quite the conversation right
now, and will be in future years unless you decide to do something different. How about adding purpose?
I was in a
conversation earlier with a man that wanted to quit smoking. He has tried several times over the past few
years, but has failed each time. I asked
him the usual questions such as what methods he was using, how he was getting
support, what was tripping him and what was happening when he decided to start
up again. Then I asked him WHY he wanted
to stop smoking. What was his
purpose? He gave me that
deer-in-the-headlight look and said “I don’t really know, I just want to.” He mentioned it would be healthier and he
kept considering the risks involved, but didn't really have a solid reason for
quitting.
That’s when
we were able to have a discussion about PURPOSE. As humans, more than likely, we won’t achieve
anything if there isn't a purpose attached.
“Because I want to” just isn't good enough when it comes to purpose. What is it that we are really
looking to have? When we’re getting rid
of something, we have to have a reward in its place. It’s kind of like digging a hole. If we don’t put a tree in it, it’s just a
hole, and dirt will eventually fill it once again.
A few years
ago, another man that I worked with in his quit-smoking quest found that he was
really struggling. He relayed that he
was really having a tough time when he got up in the morning because that is
when he enjoyed his first cigarette of the day.
I asked him what it was that he would like to be doing during that time.
He said he used to be a runner and that running would be great, but he
just wasn't there yet because of his lungs.
He agreed that he would go out and walk for 10 – 15 minutes instead of
having the cigarettes. During this discussion,
he had a “light bulb” moment. He wanted to
quit smoking because he really wanted to be running again … and the two couldn't co-exist. He wanted to run more. That became his purpose. Every time he thought about a cigarette, he
reminded himself of his purpose, and he was able to get over the
temptation. After about a month, he was
running daily. He now runs in 5K’s quite
frequently and is enjoying a smoke-free life.
Whether you
want to quit smoking, lose weight or make money, there must be some type of
solid purpose for you or you will have a rough time achieving your goal. Write down all of your reasons for wanting to
achieve this goal (handwriting on a piece of paper is best). See if there’s a common thread. Sometimes you will find it and sometimes it
takes a little more time. Ask yourself
what you will get if you have this goal.
Again, write it down. Is there a
purpose yet? If not, that’s okay. Just keep working on it. Think about a time when you were smoke free
or at your ideal weight, or dream about a time where you have the money you
want (or whatever your goal is). See
what you look like. What sounds do you
hear? How do you feel? This is another way to connect to that
purpose. When you want
to break your goal, remind yourself of those sights, sounds and feelings. Connect with them.
And, don’t
forget to fill the hole! Remember that
when something is taken away, something else needs to take its place. If you’re used to eating chips in front of
the TV, find another food that doesn’t cause weight gain, or do something other
than watching TV at that time.
Here is a
tool for you to help you find your purpose and make a solid decision for your
goals.
Good luck,
and happy 2014!!
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